Are your expectations too high, too low, or just right?
A few weeks ago I showed up to lunch with a friend, and he wasn’t surprised when I pulled out a notebook. Yes, there were things I wanted to make sure we covered. I had expectations for the time, and wanted to make the most of it.
I had expectations — for lunch. Achievers be like that.
Particularly folks who have high expectations for themselves. Those expectations don’t usually stay contained, 100% inside, but tend to spread, spill, and inflict themselves on others.
This is a portrait of a perfectionist.
I had never seen myself in the definition. Oh no, I thought, perfectionists are over there, pulling their hair up into tight ballerina buns and following the rules.
But if people tell you your expectations are too high, more than once, you might consider the possibility that you, too, are in this category.
Unrealistic standards can hurt the business.
Tech board member and former VP of Organizational Capacity at ADP, Ron Carruci found in his study of 300 executives, that about 35% of the executives fail because of their unrealistic expectations.
The capacity of your team takes a hit as well: scholars in the field have found that unrealistic expectations have correlations with lower motivation and lower commitment.
When you hear “your expectations are too high”…
The kicker is that this feedback, coming from team members, never feels particularly helpful.
The way I’d hear it:
Resources are tight, and I had prioritized investing in this role/project/area.
If we weren’t doing it at the best quality we could, it wasn’t worth doing.
Something was not working out.
Or so I thought.
Eventually I realized I needed calibrate expectations with the person in front of me. I developed a few ways to think about setting expectations — for yourself — before setting them for others.
Tools for setting expectations
Here are a few lightweight ways to think about how to expectations for yourself, and then to communicate them to team members:
Benchmark to the size of the budget — what do small, medium and large-sized versions look like? Can you live with them?
Look at the competition — what do other organizations do, and how do they staff?
Compare similar roles — this one is for the larger organizations, with career ladders, or comparing quality of output.
Relative to previous work — it’s always better to reference prior artifacts. Show what sets the bar for “good enough.”
Frequency of calibration — communicate what you’re looking for at kickoff, onboarding, and check-in. Waiting until after the team member “misses” helps no one.
That’s it for now. I need to set an agenda for my dinner party later.